Abstract: Looking for something entirely different? Take a tour through our ever changing universe that is (loosely) guided by Monty Python’s “The Galaxy” song. In this colloquium, students will explore the cosmic history of our planet, how we are evolving and revolving though space, and where we and our galaxy are headed in the future. Basic geometry and algebra will be used to understand the math a physics behind our planet’s position in time and space, and to understand why the numbers that apply to England don’t apply to Ecuador!

Not familiar with the song? Check out this rated [PG] google video.

Two people can live the same life, but because of who they are inside – because of their nature – they will each become different things. It is the special child, the one with a fire in his belly, who can escape the slums, who can escape the abuse, who can make up for every deficit in education, nutrition, and love. This is the Golden Child the media holds up as an example of what any person can do with their life. The more normal child grows, and tries, and gets somewhere, but never quite gets past the daemons.

Daemons take many forms. There is the wealthy man who grew up poor and now clings to every cent because he so deeply fears poverty that he can´t escape its suppressing shadow. There is the once starved woman who grows fat because she so fears that her next meal will never come that she can´t help but devour all that is placed before her. Even when we recognize the things that haunt us, it isn´t always easy to escape.

Daemons are things outside us. They are things that have happened to us that now dwell in our memories. Exorcism by priest or pastor or psychologist can help, but they can never really be fully banished. We simply learn coping mechanisms, and learn to acknowledge these inner voices when we look in the mirror.

One of the things that I think is hardest for us to understand is that the sins of the parent are not because of the child. A child whose parents did not love him is still worthy of love. A child whose parents did not acknowledge her is still worthy of attention. The child who was beaten deserves to be held tenderly, and the child who was unwanted can be desired. It is the adults´ role to nurture and nourish a child. It is the adults´ role to teach the child to dream, and to explore, and feel safe in this world that is anything but safe. When an adult fails in this role, it is not the child´s fault. The first step in truly freeing one self from the daemons is acknowledging that as children we could not help or change the things that happened to us. Only after we get past these things can we move forward and learn to live, and be loved, and be free.

What doesn´t kill us doesn´t make us stronger. It does, however, make us deeper.

Every once in a while I meet someone who sits on the cusp of possibility. A sweet soul cut deep by the trials of life. Someone who has experienced life in its extremes and in this moment is better able to cherish that which is good and true and beautiful. Over and over I see these gentle spirits pull inside themselves, holding themselves back from being all they can be. Over and over, finance is a barrier. Over and over, lack of a support system is a barrier. Over and over, they turn to a family that both makes them feel grounded and makes them feel faulty or trapped. I am drawn to these potentials, and I am frustrated by the locked doors that protect their dreams. I want to help them. I want to love them. And I want to watch as they blossom into being all that they can be.

But you can only be there for someone when they let you be there. You can only listen to someone who is willing to speak. You can not force yourself into any other person´s life no matter how much you may want to be there for them.

So I watch, and I wait for the moment when my extended hand will be taken. When you are ready for help understand that I will still be here.

“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him…

a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create – - – so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.¹ 

This quote strongly resonated with me. It recognizes that in some individuals, emotions run too strong, and like the human orchid, we blossom with powerful beauty when kissed by the Sun, but die instantly in the slightest frost. This quote recognizes that to some of us, a kiss isn´t just a kiss, but rather it´s a promise that there will be a tomorrow. It recognizes that to some of us a raised voice is a violent slap. And it recognizes that some of us don´t know how to let go of the things that have captured our mind, heart and soul – no matter how small the obsession.

In discussing strong emotions with like-hearted souls, I learned that we´ve all realized that sometimes (usually?) we ruin things simply by emoting too strongly. How odd it is to live in a society that praises such ideals as “Truth, [inner] Beauty, Freedom and Love”* and is simultaneously filled with individuals fixated on lies, [outer] beauty, corporate slavery, and lust. Sex on the first date is acceptable, but telling someone how you feel after the second is not. It´s alright to say “I want to {insert crude fantasy here} to you“, but it´s not alright to say  ”I feel {insert earnest emotion here} for you“.

How does an open heart protect itself?

Sometimes it is necessary to pull away; to back away before you break your own heart; before you fall in love too strongly with a fantasy. The sensitive soul learns tricks. The things that really matter aren´t articulated. Physical affection is carefully leashed. Dreams are quietly reached for, but there is a mantra running in the background, whispering, “Life will go on, even if I fail.” This isn´t to say that I succeed. The people closest to me always know what´s going on in my heart. The people I want to be close to sometimes learn things a bit faster than they may want to. All because I know what I should do, doesn´t mean I always do it. Isn´t that what it means to be human?

Some overly sensitive souls run the risk of becoming emotionally masochistic. The desire to be open and honest isn´t properly balanced against the urge for self preservation. This has some consequences that may not be obvious at first – like any other form of pain, emotional pain eventually leads to desensitization.

At the same time, the overly sensitive soul also runs the risk of putting up barriers around their heart that are too tall and too strong for anyone to get past. Rather then risking the hurt of failure, they stop dreaming. Rather than risking the hurt of rejection, they stop loving. This is a form of self applied anaesthetization.

Either way, is easy to think that it is simply safer to be dead inside.

The safe and easy option, isn´t always the right option. The safe, easy option is to sit back, take an ordinary job, accept an ordinary lover, and bury all but ordinary dreams. “Hello, my name is Charlie Brown, I work in the cube next to Dilbert, and I live next to Ziggy. Why do I need anything more?” But when you have the heart, the intellect, and the passion to do more, living the easy life isn´t the correct option.

There is another quote that means a lot to me. I cut it off a box of Silk and it claims the quote “has been attributed to Nelson Mendela, but he didn´t write it.” The quote is simple and true:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn´t serve the world. There´s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won´t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it´s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The truly creative mind has a power. It has the ability to love when love seems impossible. It has the ability to nurture growth it the desert and built castles from mud. The truly creative mind can do anything. The truly creative mind can be anything. The creative mind must only take care not to lose too much of itself in every little hurt. My creative friends, my creative kindred – dream, love, have passion and be passionate, and most of all, believe in yourself.

*From Moulin Rouge