The Internet and Human Relations

Posted By Pamela on Nov 25, 2008 | 12 comments

The past 48 hours or so have been a mad adventure across the UK. From meeting with Astronomy Cast and Galaxy Zoo folks in London to recording Astronomy Cast and attending a dinner seminar in Oxford yesterday with Chris Lintott, everything I’ve done has been facilitated through the Internet. It seems that sometimes real life social interactions are just a click or a forum post away.

My life, put simply, is lived as much through digital communications as it is through face to face interactions. Some days the virtual interactions are even the more important ones.

This simple truth is something that one of last night’s speakers made me think very hard about.

Thanks to a few emails from Chris, I was able to attend the Monday evening keynote for the Silicon Valley Comes to Oxford conference. This session included talks by Philip Rosedale (Linden Labs), Baroness Susan Greenfield (Neuroscientist and Fullerian Professor of Physiology), and Elon Musk (Space X). All three addresses were wonderful, hitting different emotional cords as they plucked at the strings of potential virtual futures; of walking on Mars, and of how we think and how we learn. I have to admit (although you likely already know this), I have already drank the kool-aide of Second Life and I am strongly in favor of commercial manned space flight. The talk that offered me the most new content and new ideas was Baroness Greenfield’s talk on neuroscience.

She started by asking the question: What is it that makes human consciousness separate from machine thought, and she postulated that as we evolve into the future, man and machine may merge. She asked, “But what would we do with super human vision and enhanced strength?” Taking on aspects other then our own may not be good. That, however, is a question we don’t need to answer today. What is more presently relevant is the question of what is human interaction via the web – an enhancement we experience through new media – doing to the human mind and how we build relationships.

Consider Facebook. At the time of this writing I have 680 friends. The vast majority are other astronomers and astronomy enthusiasts who I’ve met professionally and through Astronomy Cast. There is also a largish chunk of people who I knew in high school or who I was friends with in college. Mixed in are a small handful of people who I am close friends with in “real life” (this group includes a few folks I see maybe once a year. All these people, within the construct of Facebook, are my friends. All of them can socially share ideas, invitations, photos, and comments back and forth. All these people have the potential to touch my life daily in the way an acquaintance I run into in line at the coffee shop can touch my life, but this isn’t to say they are all my dear friends.

And, due to the ease with which social networks grow, one has to wonder if our social network interactions are changing the nature of our more traditional interactions.

Looking at my own laptop, I know that my inboxes of emails from my work, blog, and Facebook accounts all have the ability to take over every waking moment of my life. I honestly am interested in knowing what happened to some of my old friends refound through Facebook. I honestly want to help the amateurs who contact me find new ways to get involved in astronomy. All these interactions with all these acquaintances, all of which are facilitated by the internet, are changing how I interact. Sometimes a letter gets replaced with links and “Let me know if these help you?” rather then my own thoughtful reactions. I find myself more willing to flash off small thoughts, random “Let me share” sound bites of my life to friends rather then to sit and have rich written correspondence like I used to have a few years ago with distant friends. Somehow I’ve learned to comfortably fit my life into 140 characters or less.

The human mind is a plastic thing, flexible, trainable, malleable. We each adapt in different ways to outside stimuli and the communications styles we use (as input and output) the most often.

For me, I like to hope that should I find someone interested in taking up long distance letter writing in this world of SMS and Skype, I will still have the skills needed to converse in that fondly remembered form of communications. In someways, I guess, the community dialogue of blogging has for me filled that communications niche.  We each can react and interact in long drawn out dialogues of interconnecting links. It is an open letter we write when we blog.

But perhaps through our openness we are also isolating ourselves. There are things I would once have shared in letters to friends that I would never dare blog. Look at Phil and the pseudonyms he uses for even his dog.

Beyond just letter writing, though, how are we being changed?

Baroness Greensfield, in her talk, asked us to consider the rapid fire world of today’s youth and the way in which human interactions are getting distilled in some cases to a punch and a quest after death. Here is where I admit I’m not an online (or even not online) computer gamer. I used to do D&D back in the day, but that was a detailed face to face interactions. Looking at my friends who play World of Warcraft, I see a certain mix of people transforming their spare time into nothing more then a quest for more more more status/gold/weapons/magic. At the same time I also see people who build close relationships with their gaming partners, getting to know them and trust them as work out puzzles, go into battle, and sometimes just stand and share and gossip. I’m not sure how this is different from life and the shallow pursuit of wealth waged side by side with the earnest pursuit of a life well lived.

In presenting a montage of rapid fire clips from online games, Baroness Greenfield asked us to consider what is happening to attention spans. She showed us an increase in the rate at which prescriptions for attention deficit drugs are being given out. She asked us to go with her and draw the conclusion that our rapid fire world of instant communications is leading us to become an attention deficit society hedonistically seeking instant gratification, as we live in the now with over indulgence of food, internet, and other things not safe for this blog. I’m not sure what to believe – I want to see statistics and cause and effect sociology research. Sadly, they only gave her 20 minutes.

She left us with the question, is the internet making us less empathetic as we confine our interactions to what she claims are less rich forms of content input. She argued that in moving away from reading books and to instead becoming a people of the “Screen” (where screen is a computer or television screen) we are losing our empathy and attention span.

I hate to disagree with a Baroness on a subject I can claim no professional training in, but I have to say that I’m going to agree with Linden Lab’s Philip Rosedale: as much as the internet has changed how (and with how many people) I communicate, it has in many cases caused me to lose myself into complicated tasks – designing interfaces, finding things in Second Life, writing blog posts, reading and commenting on (but not often enough) others’ blog posts, tweeting, skyping, and so much more. My attention span sometimes seems longer then the number hours I should be awake, and I find myself often captivated by the new puzzles of new technologies.

And my heart strings – my ability to feel empathy for others – my emotions are triggered through the rich writings that I can find on any of probably a million different places. Baroness Greensfield kept invoking the name of Jane Austin. Sometimes though, isn’t a random person writing on something they are personally passionate about just as powerful in their capacity to evoke emotions as Austin was in her novels?

And sometimes, as we skype across the miles, as my voice is carried from my computer to the computer of any one of several people who are dear to me, aren’t I able to share the emotionally meaningful moments that are necessary to build and maintain real friendships? I can look around the globe and map the people who matter, many of whom I see but rarely, but skype lets our friendships – our emotional connections – stay solid across the miles.

The human mind is a plastic thing. We do need to be careful of how we use the internet to replace our real world interactions. Somethings can’t be replaced – we all need that occasional 4am face-to-face conversation. But… But the internet is allowing us to live richer lives where our ability to find and interact with others is enhanced in ways that (once we learn to deal with the thru put of too many emails) really will be for the best.

That said, I want to end this on a cautionary note. Baroness Greenfield’s concern that we are learning to seek instant gratification I think is a real one. We are becoming too accustomed to instant gratification. Communications is instant. Food is instant. Purchases are overnight delivered, and relationships (according the the “wisdom” of Friends and Sex in the City) are founded on the three date rule. We are rushing through life without ever getting lost on the journey and enjoying the side paths. Sometimes the most interesting parts come during the breaks and intermissions.

In the musical Into the Woods, there is a line we all need to remember (sung by Little Red Riding Hood): “The prettier the flower, the farther from the path…” Sometimes we need to remember the fastest journey isn’t always the best. Sometimes we benefit from deviations down side roads and from getting our feet wet walking through the grass.

Use the internet to enrich, but remember to sometimes take the road less clicked.


  1. I share Susan Greenfield’s concerns about the internet and it’s effect on modern youth. My 18yr old son spends a lot of time gaming with his friends – he can talk to them and engage in group activities (usually militaristic) and these friends are hundreds of miles away and he has never met some of them face to face.

    I think these interactions are not as rich as face to face and the friendships seem to be transient. Needless to say my son disagrees with me and tells me to get real. He has a point as all his friends do the same and if he weren’t then he probably would be more isolated.

    In fact if you think about all the ways you communicate now, your life is much richer than it was in your grandparents day. Mobile phones mean that I spend far more time speaking to people than I used to; I email far far more often than I used to handwrite/type letters. I still meet all my work colleagues and talk to them, stay in touch with my brother even though he lives overseas.

    I wonder if our great grandparents worried about the effect that Alexander Bell’s new fangled invention would have on modern youth? – I bet they did! Plus ca change,plus c’est la meme chose

  2. BTW Enjoyed meeting you at the Pub on Sunday

  3. Extra points for pulling off an “Into the Woods” reference.
    Possibly the coolest thing before the Net.

  4. what a thought provoking article, too much to digest all that in one go – love to mull over these points later , Thanks!

    p.s – ever thought of collecting the best of blog posts (such as this one) from over the years and publishing a book? no kidding, really! theres somes good writing here.

    3.33 a.m
    Calcutta, India.

  5. Via the Internet, I have deeply intimate relationships with a handful of far-flung people, yet I wouldn’t recognize either of my next-door neighbors if I passed them in the street. I had a French pen-pal for half my life but have lost touch with him, because, as far as I know, he has no online presence. Why is it so much easier to type a message to someone and click Send than it is to click Print and put it in an envelope? I’m sure there are quite a few dissertations that could be (already have been?) written on this subject. Thanks a lot for your thought-provoking post.

  6. iPM did an interview with Susan Greenfield in August – search for Greenfield in Google Reader and you’ll get a short series of posts with a cross-section of reactions to her in the comments. You aren’t the only one to think she over-simplifies. (You might be interested in what iPM are doing by way of innovation in communication anyway, combining radio with the www.)

    I don’t like Facebook.

    Good to meet you on Sunday.

  7. Re: World of Warcraft, I get together on Wednesday evenings with some friends to play WoW. (OK, I haven’t made it in four weeks, but in principle I do this.) We hang out and chat in a conference call on Skype while playing the game. It’s more interactive than, and as much a social outlet as, hanging around with friends watching a TV show. One of those friends lives in Atlanta, so the TV show route isn’t even an option.

    Re: instant gratification, let’s also not forget the cellphone. But, I’m not sure that this addiction to instant gratification is such a bad thing. It allows you to do little things like look up the answer to a question on wikipedia during a casual conversation that you would never have been able to do in the pre-Internet world. There is always sacrifice with change, but there is usually gain too.

  8. Interesting question there. While personally, I do notice changes like these, for me I feel it’s slowly creeping into my everyday life that I think it would be impossible to live without the Internet. The Internet certainly has transformed us.

    But the good side is that I still maintain friendships with classmates abroad, which wouldn’t be possible without Internet. So I’d say there’s a good & bad side to it, and it really depends on how we managed ourselves and how we use/abuse it.

    (Uh oh, enough commenting, I better get to bed!)

  9. Thought provoking words indeed.

    It was lovely to meet you Pam and thanks for signing my book!

    All the best
    Sci-Fi Si

  10. Nice, Pamela. Very nice.

    Wanna get back into D&D via Skype? 🙂

  11. 🙂 Agreed.
    I’m really sad that I missed the meetup in London! I desperately wanted to go, but deadlines said “NO!”.
    I hope you’re back in England sometime soon and arrange another meet 😀 Here’s to the strengths of the internet!

  12. Nice words Pamela.


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