Living in this body

Posted By Pamela Gay on Apr 9, 2019 | 3 comments

Examining the Flowers (by Pamela Gay)

Earlier today I ran by the post office to ship a package. It’s full on spring & I decided it was time to pull out spring dresses. A women in line complemented me on my look & when I told her it was from #eShakti she was totally confused, & we had a good laugh as I explained yes they are as good as they claim on Facebook. Pockets, custom sizing and all, they are that good. Feeling pretty, and wanting to take advantage of the one day the magnolia tree will have fabulous blooms, I tried to get some pictures.

And this is when I learned the self conscious teen inside me is still alive and well.

A Red Dress on eShakti
The Dress

In my head, I still have the body I had in high school, which isn’t too different from the brown-haired model on the ad. I just had much bigger hair. Seeing the pictures I took, I had a moment of “oh shit, I must diet… ” But that was wrong. I’m 45, not 15. I embrace the diversity of bodies I see on projects like @girlgaze. I am a diverse body. This body – my body – has been lived in, seen things, done things, and experienced the world (and all the foods of the world). It has done more than 15 year old me ever dreamed.

That woman at the post office, thin and the societal ideal in her athleisurewear, didn’t see a fat middle-aged loser. She saw someone in a perfectly fitting beautiful dress, someone full of confidence and pleased with spring. I need to learn how to see what she was able to see. And, maybe this larger lady in the picture, who stress ate through winter and a job change, needs to get a couple more perfectly fitting dresses from because, really, they are as cute as they look on Facebook and they do have pockets. (And if you decide to shop there, my referral code is PAMELAGAY.)

Embrace who you are and smell some flowers (or at least give them a hard look if pollen isn’t your thing).


  1. Excellent post — self acceptance is critical to our healthy well-being.

    The only comment I have would be to keep an eye on your BMI (Body Mass Index) so as to preclude health problems in the years ahead. If one Googles BMI and selects the American Cancer Society link, they have all you need to know about BMI. I was chagrined, at age 80, to need to pay attention to mine again after years of being a runner had kept it in line. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis 9 years ago and traded running for walking. The biggest setback was to one day find I was 5’0″ instead of 5’8″. That definitely changed my BMI and subsequently led to significant changes in my diet.

  2. As I have aged the best thing I have grown to understand is we are all different unique and wonderful as ourselves. What a gift to know who you are!

  3. “She saw someone in a perfectly fitting beautiful dress, someone full of confidence and pleased with spring.”

    That’s what I see too.

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